It Never Turns Out How you Think it Will

I always thought that I was traditional. When I was younger, I always scoffed at the idea of living together before marriage, planning a wedding without a ring, and believed my wedding would be a big frilly production complete with a Church and hall. I don't want to say that I was naive, but I think when you are younger you have all the expectations of the way life is going to be. Maybe it's from TV, maybe it's from your parents, maybe it's from books and movies, who really knows? All I know is that when I was younger, I was very traditional with my beliefs and values.


Then along comes real life, boy, was that a smack in the face. When I met Mr.Tal all things I thought and believed turned upside down. First of all, he was not my type, but that's a story for a different post. Basically, Mr.Tal and I dated a full 9 months before we moved in together. Strike one against my younger self. See it turns out when you meet the love of your life, they are actually your perfect roommate. Also, my first and only experience with a roommate was with my best friend, which turned out to be a big mistake. Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, strike one.


Fast forward to January of 2009, Mr.Tal and I are in our crappy apartment on a Saturday, the snow is coming down hard, and we are bored. No good movies out on DVD, nothing good playing at the theater, and we had already eaten. It makes perfect sense that we go to the biggest bridal show in the area just to blow some time. After a few hours browsing through the vendors, we come home and have one of the biggest conversations of our lives. We discuss marriage and where our relationship is going. I think we had always assumed marriage was it for us, we just didn't know when, but that day a timeline became very real. See, while Mr.Tal has a great job and has been out of school for years, I am still finishing my double degree in Education and History. That long awaited accomplishment will be completed in December of this year. I need to move out of state, because Ohio isn't the place for teaching jobs, so I need to move not too long after graduation, say by summer of 2010. We had to seriously talk to each other, about what we wanted, what we needed, about our future and where we each fit into each others. We decided that our lives were entangled hopelessly in each other and that Mr.Tal would relocate to be with me. I was insistent that we get married before we move, so I had the gusto to ask if he was planning to propose this year. He said yes. I asked if he minded if I started to plan our wedding. He said no. With a busy school year the rest of this year and moving by next summer, we only really had Spring 2010 to pick from for our date, so we set the date (April 16th, 2010) and I didn't have a ring yet. Strike two.


Almost immediately, I started planning, I looked into venues and vendors I had always dreamed about and saw the price tag. Ouch. A serious decision was needed with the parents, the mother-in-law, and Mr.Tal. This was hard, because sometimes people don't understand when you don't have a ring how you could be planning a wedding, but we worked through it. We set a budget $8,000, that's what we could afford with the help we were getting. At that point everything had to change and I had to become thrifty bride (cue superhero music). I looked into DIY and found a world where I could have a pretty wedding and SAVE MONEY. Those in the wedding planning stages know how weird that statement is. However, with a budget, my ideas of a perfect wedding started changing. In fact, I think they really started to change when I decided to spend my life with Mr.Tal. All that really mattered was marrying the man I love, the pomp didn't matter anymore. I believe that starting our life together in as little debt as possible became more important than a big poofy dress, huge beautiful bouquets, and a huge guest list. Strike three, younger self.



Life never turns out how you think it will, in my case I think it's turned out better. So I'm living an nontraditional life, big deal, I've never been happier than I am now. Sorry younger self, you end up living with a boy before marriage, planning your wedding before the ring, and the wedding you always dreamed of isn't happening. In your older self's opinion the life that ends up happening for you is even more amazing than the one you had planned.

What about you readers? Think back to your younger years, has life turned out the way you thought it would then?

Anyway, tune in next time, for more tales from a DIY Bride.