Great Read: "The Five Languages of Love"

One of my favorite things to do is read. All the time. I could live in the library or the bookstore. One of my major goals in life is to have my own library in my house. Luckily enough this is a huge thing that Mr. Tal and I have in common, every night we will lay in bed each buired in our own little book world. Recently, I took notice around the hive (Weddingbee boards for those not in the know) that there was some buzz (it was too easy) about a book called The Five Languages of Love: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman. While wandering the bookstore with Mr. Tal a few weeks back I saw this book and decided to get it, with the understanding that Mr. Tal would also read it.

Within the first five minutes of reading the book, I was hooked. I probably finished the book within 2 days. This specific version of the book (as there is one for men, one for singles, one for teens, etc.) focuses primarily on marriage, which seemed appropriate given our upcoming nuptials. The author talks about how he feels there are five different ways that people express love and like to recieve love. The book's main focus is describing each of these languages and helping men and women discover which ways they give and recieve love. My favorite thing overall about this book was that the author says repeatedly that giving love to your partner is a choice. To really understand that statement I think you would have to read the book in it's entirety.

This book has actually changed things for Mr. Tal and I. I always thought that we did pretty good, we have never really lost that loving feeling, we fight pretty rarely, we still get giggly and crazy silly butterflies. So for me to say that things have changed, it is a big deal. By reading this book I discovered that my primary love language is quality time and my secondary language is physical touch. My primary didn't suprise me, anytime Mr. Tal and I have had a fight it usually revolved around me complaining that we never spend time together but my secondary did. It does make sense, everytime in Mr. Tal is in the room I try to touch his hand, shoulder, back, whatever. However, that doesn't make Mr. Tal feel loved because his primary language is words of affirmation and his secondary is acts of service. He feels loved when I say positive things to him and when I do things for him. I don't have a problem with the acts of service part, I love to cook and clean and run errands for him, however, saying nice things is really hard for me. I don't mean to say that I am an unkind shrew, but the book talks about how some things may not come natural to you  because you didn't grow up experiencing that type of love language and for me to speak like that isn't natural. Just like it isn't natural for Mr. Tal to spend quality time together. He always felt that we spent lots of time together, but to me that time together wasn't quality, watching TV together isn't time with him. So we both have some adjusting to do.

We have tried really hard to adjust the way that we express love to each other and it has actually made a big difference in our relationship. It has been a really big blessing in this household. I am so glad we decided to read this book.

Have any of you read this book? Did it make a difference in your relationship?

Tune in next time for more tales from a DIY bride.