I'm a hot mess...

...and it is all my fault. Seriously, it is. This is going to get down and dirty honest, real quick.

Let me preface by saying that I am a control freak, a perfectionist, and basically the quintessential first child. I find birthorder facinating and if I were to ever go back to school I would love to study it more in depth. It doesn't apply to everyone, but I find it astounding how well it applies to me and my sisters. The following list is from http://www.birthorderandpersonality.com/, this is what it says about first born children, first borns can be one of either two types Compliant or Agressive, but I found that I have traits in both areas, those bolded I see easily in myself:

Compliant Traits

• People Pleasers
• Crave Approval
• Nurturers
• Caregivers
• Reliable
• Concientious
• Cooperative
• Team Players
• "Grin and bear it" mentality

Agressive Traits

• Movers and shakers
• Natural Leaders
• Perfectionists
• Driven
• Conventional
• Always have things under control
• Assertive
• Want things their way

All of this combines with the fact that I don't open up to anyone unless I have to. What does all this have to do with the wedding? Well, let me tell you. Basically, I have been a ball of stressful nerves because I have not let anyone help with this wedding. I thought I delegated,  I thought I opened up and talked, but I wasn't and I didn't. I learned this the hard way. 3 weeks out and I was am a hot mess. There is so much going on and so many thoughts running through my head and I tried to keep it all in. Bestie K and my Mom set me straight yesterday, it was hard to hear it but they both were right. I don't talk to anyone, I keep everything to myself, I try to handle it all and do it all and I can't. That was one of the hardest things in the world for me to admit, but it's true. I'm glad that I called Bestie, I'm glad that Mr. Tal in his worry for me called my mom. I'm glad that they both had the nerve to tell me how it is because hopefully, even though it is late in the game, I can delgate, I can open up and talk to my friends and my family, hopefully I can actually enjoy my own wedding.

Are you a first, middle, or youngest child? Does it affect your wedding planning?

Tune in next time for more tales from a DIY bride.