(You know the one, Manda, Manda, fo-fanda, fi-fye, bo banda...so on and so forth.)
My whole life I have been Amanda Mylastname. My last name has always been misprounced, mispelled and generally a big mess. I thought when I was younger that I would change my last name when I got married, it seemed an easy choice. However, as I've grown, I've learned more about the world and become a not so angsty teenager who loves her family. I have learned to love my name, because it is part of me. I have also come to the realization that my dad's name will not live on, my sister's and I are the last in the Mylastname line. It makes me so sad and that all combines to make my decision to change my name harder.
The feminist in me says, keep your name! It is you! The traditionalist in me says take his last name! You want to be a family unit! The crazy side in me wants to make a new combined last name! It's a compromise!
It's insane all the different options I have. It is good that I have these options but it is frustrating as well. With the wedding right around the corner I know that I need to decide and I know what I am leaning towards. Mr. Tal has been amazing through this process, which hasn't brought out my warm fuzzy side. Conversations like this have taken place more than once: "Why don't you take my last name? Why should I have to bow down to traditional, sexist sandards?" To which he sweetly replied, "Okay, that's fine." God bless him. He deals with my rants so well. I am leaning towards this combination: Amanda Mymiddlename Mylastname Hislastname having my last name be a second middle name, which Mr. Tal has sweetly agreed that if I ask him to, he will also take my last name as a second middle name. I haven't completely decided, it's really hard, I'll probably end up deciding on the honeymoon.
Have you had a hard time with the name change decision? What have you decided if anything?
Tune in next time for more tales from a DIY bride.
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Growing up, I never wanted to change my name. I loved it, it was uncommon, and let's face it, with getting married at 30, I'd become quite attached to it! :)
ReplyDeleteWhen I met David, however, things mysteriously changed! I wanted to be a part of him, "our family." So I decided to change my name to his, and we decided together that if I ever did anything awesome like write an article or something (and really, like that's going to happen!), I would use my maiden name too.
I LOVE the "first name, middle name, maiden name, last name" option, but it was too long for me. I also love changing the middle name to the maiden name. I would have done that, but my middle name is my mom's name and I think that's too special to change. I think whatever you do, you'll love it :) Just remember that whatever LEGAL name you want, you have to sign it on your wedding license the day of your wedding. I didn't know that at first.
Oh and a tip on the "new" last name :)... when you're telling people how to say the new last name, tell them "The 'c' is silent". Works like a charm! (So glad you're joining the family!)
Well hello! :) I just found your blog - it sounds like you're doing lots of fun things for the big day. I can't wait to see it all in person! (Speaking of which, I RSVPed on your website - did you get it?)
ReplyDeleteI'm secretly jealous of the girls that get to marry into the 'Tal' family because you girls get to take the name that I love so much. I agree it's so hard to let go of something that really defined you up to this point in life. I, too, love the combination of names, but since my married last name is technically 2 words, it would take me 3 hours to sign my name had I gone that route. :)
I actually work with a girl who picked a totally new name. Like, she didn't want his name and he didn't want her name, so they just picked a totally random new one. Isn't that weird?